December 10, 2008
Written in 1998
Did you know that my father died?
Yeah, he did.
I didn';t have the best relationship with him. In fact, I hardly knew him. I spent much of my youth pretending I knew him.
When, in my adult life, I was actually in a position of getting to know him, it was too late. He was a withered and angry old man. You see, he had been drinking for years and years (since he was 15, smoking since 14) and he was quite satisfied with his lifestyle.
My brother Scott told me that dad once said, "I like to celebrate."
This celebration could be looked at in one of two ways. First, he lived his life the way he wanted, and died a happy man. Or second, he was an addict, and this forced him into a lifestyle, one that he justified by saying he "liked to celebrate", and that ultimately made him die alone.
That last statement isn't quite true, he didn't die alone. He made a good friend in his last years... a friend that would help him, take care of him, and chide him for hurting himself. This person became a friend of mine as well. He did those same things for me (except for the health part).
Anyway, the interesting part was watching him die. I had visited him in the hospital the day before, and he smiled when I walked in. His health was bad, he wasn't able to talk, and he was hanging on by a thread. But he recognized me. I spent some time with him, beside the bed. I touched his hand, cold. I watched him, and I tried to conjure up any feelings that I had. I felt on the spot, as his friends were there, expecting (?) that I would fall apart. I didn't. In truth, I felt very little. I felt duty. I knew what I had to do. I needed to help him die. I told the doctors to remove life support (something that I thought would be more difficult than it was, being in Costa Rica), and they agreed.
I returned the next day, walking into the hospital a nurse ran down the hall, grabbed my arm and in broken English said, "Not long. Not long." I walked into the room, he was gasping, had shallow breathing. His skin was cold to the touch. He moved, just a bit. And then he died.
The timing was weird (a Costa Rican woman told me it was a miracle that he waited until I arrived), the situation was weird, being in a third world country, everybody crossing themselves in the way that Catholics do. I still didn't know how I should react. I was still looking for feelings to come up. The moment was here, I should feel something, shouldn't I? What did I feel?
Well, are you sure you want to know?
I felt relief. I felt good. I felt amazed at the friendliness and generosity of the Costa Rican people who helped me through it. I felt duty. I felt responsibility, I felt good in making the decisions that I did.
Most of all, I felt like an adult. At the time of this writing, I'm 28, and I made my first real adult decision/choices. Yeah, yeah, I moved across the country, my career goes well, I live with someone I love, those too are adult themes, I'm not trying to minimize the importance of those. But, I realized that the facing of death, the death of someone that was so fictionalized, so foreign to me, forced me to come to terms more finite. There was a beginning and an end. And I made that choice to accelerate the end. Now how often do you get to make that kind of choice?
[What I've neglected to mention: how Jenny helped me, how my immediate family helped me, how Rosie, the outgoing and helpful pharmacist helped me, etc. etc.]
Posted by tdotjay at 9:56 PM | Comments (0)
August 26, 2008
New Glarus Beers
This past few days I have had the opportunity to drink copious amounts of New Glarus beers. To easy the tastings, they have a sampler 12 pack, four packs and large bottles.
Here's the run down so far:
Fat Squirrel Brown
Fantastic! My new favorite all time beer. Not sweet, but nutty, low in alcohol, and very, very drinkable. Great aroma!
Edel-Pils
A great Bavarian pils. Seems like a mix of new and noble hops. Crisp, with a strongish malt backbone. Nice!
Hop Hearty
A non-West Coast IPA. Similar to Summit IPA, but a little less bitter on the finish, less copper and a strong hop aroma.
Spotted Cow
Strong malt backbone. Yum. Fruity, yeasty esthers.
Organic Revolution
Fruity ale -- would guess it's made with a Lager yeast. Tasty, clean beer.
Road Slush
Great, astringent stout. Lots of chocolate notes, crisp, clean finish. Surprisingly tasty on a warm summer night.
Smoke on the Porter
Part of the unplugged series. This is a mildly smoked porter. I LOVE it. Would love to try a straight porter.
I'm pretty sure these guys can do no wrong -- amazing, straight froward beer. No "extreme" to be found, but incredible, style-true, tasty beers. The rest of the week will have me hunting down the Belgian Cherry, Bock, and tasting the Raspberry Sour I have in the fridge.
I also have a new favorite lager -- the Berghoff Lager. Really, really yummy -- fruity lager, with hints of the complexity of a steam beer. Old stand by's of Summt Extra Pale have kept me happy, too.
Posted by tdotjay at 5:41 PM | Comments (0)
June 9, 2008
New Painting
We bought this painting yesterday:
"Habitat", 32"x36",acrylic on panel,2006 painted by Bob Stang
Posted by tdotjay at 8:01 AM | Comments (0)
May 9, 2008
May 2, 2008
Liv, the Rescuer
We've all been feverish, and sick and taking many, many Ibuprofens.
And an important fact for this story, though unrelated, really, in topic is that we "let the yellow mellow" in hour house -- meaning, we don't flush after every pee.
ANYWAY.
I was shaking out several Turquoise Blue Gel capsules and one overshot my hand, and landed on the floor. We haven't cleaned that bathroom floor in weeks. So I picked it up and plunked it in the toilet.
A bout twenty minutes later I wondered where Liv was, so went looking for her. I found her just in time to find her about shoulders-deep in the really stinky, yellow pee bowl of the toilet. As I said "WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING!" she jerked back, pulled her yellow/wet toilet-paper encased arms out of the bowl, holding a single, shiny turquoise pill in her hands, and said "Look what I found!"
That was a disastrous mess to be cleaning up when you have a 104 fever.
[cross-posted on Liv & Henry ]
Posted by tdotjay at 9:19 AM | Comments (0)
April 30, 2008
Laptops for Nigeria!
I sold a laptop on Ebay. Wait, no I didn't. Oh, yes i did.
Ahem, so I thought I sold a laptop on Ebay. I listed it, it was bought about 5 minutes later by a guy in Arizona. A few hours later, I got this:
Subject: MC143 A29 TKO NOTICE: Secure your computer -
Dear (me),We recently learned that someone was using an account to bid on items without the account owner's permission. For this reason, we have canceled all bids on the following listing:
130218859721 - Macbook pro 15" 2.5ghz, 2 gb RAM, NVIDIA GeForce 8600M
All associated fees have been credited to your account. Please note that we're working with the account owner to prevent any additional unauthorized activity.Unfortunately, we're not able to automatically relist the above item for you. To relist the item, you'll need to use either the Sell Your Item process on eBay, or another listing service.
If you have any concerns or questions, you can contact us by clicking "Help" at the top of any eBay page.
I immediately went to ebay to view my message inbox, and this was a legit email. Ugh, they took the listing down, and I'd have to recreate, but whatever.
The next morning, I get this:
From: transaction_verification@AccountantEmail.com Subject: Notice: Administrative Technical ErrorDear (me),
This email is to inform you that our recent notification sent to you from eBay was a technical error.We are sorry for any mix up we might have caused both you and the buyer. We realized that the bid initiated from this account (metscot) was from the true owner.If this person was the winning bidder for the transaction then the transaction in question should be reconsidered and completed. You must end the auction if the item have been re-listed.We therefore urge you to go and ship the item or take the necessary step if the buyer has paid for the item.
Thank you for being an asset to the eBay trading community. We wish you continued success with your transactions on eBay.
Regards,
Customer Support (Trust and Safety Department)
eBay Inc
Obviously ebay has outsourced the email support. So obviously, I sent off the laptop, no questions asked. Right? Right. No. No. No. Actually I didn't.
Then I get this email:
From: makingme03@gmail.com Subject: I won this item on eBay: Macbook pro 15" 2.5ghz, 2 gb RAM, NVIDIA GeForce 8600M 130218859721Dear Seller,i've purchased your item on ebay,i will be sending your payment via paypal shortly.Moreover,i want you to aware that am sending this item to a colleague and i will prefer it mail directly to his location so as to meet the need.Therefore ,i will like to know your shipping option and also its cost to the location provides below :
Name : Adebayo A.S
Address : 58/60 Awolowo Ave
City : Abeokuta
State : Ogun
Zip code : 121101
Country : NigeriaNote : I suggest shipping via USPS Express Mail(EMS),it is cheaper and reliable.
Thanks and get to me ASAP.
to which I responded:
To: makingme03@gmail.com Subject: Re: I won this item on eBay: Macbook pro 15" 2.5ghz, 2 gb RAM, NVIDIA GeForce 8600M 130218859721 Sure.Shipping to Nigeria is 1 million dollars, plus 3,000 ducks, a small bus, two cars and three chickens.
The cars need to be Mercedes Diesel station wagons.
You can freight the above to 123 Main Street, Anytown, CA, 94702.
Thanks!
to which they responded:
From: makingme03@gmail.com Subject: I won this item on eBay: Macbook pro 15" 2.5ghz, 2 gb RAM, NVIDIA GeForce 8600M 130218859721
What is the meaning of this! this is outrageous.
to which I responded:
To: makingme03@gmail.com Subject: Re: I won this item on eBay: Macbook pro 15" 2.5ghz, 2 gb RAM, NVIDIA GeForce 8600M 130218859721 Hey -- have you not read the news? The dollar's value has dropped significantly, and I need hard goods like ducks (ducks don't lose value). And 1 million dollars for shiping is my actual USPS express cost. Things are bad here, man!
Thanks!
I'm wating for the next volley.
Posted by tdotjay at 2:26 PM | Comments (1)
March 6, 2008
March 3, 2008
Naughty Bits
My kids love the music. They are super entertained by music -- dancing, singing along and humming melodies long after the track has ended. Henry, while only 10 months old, immediately calms down or begins dancing at the first few bars of a hummed, sung or played song. Liv loves videos, often talking for months about one she loved... a few examples: Modest Mouse Dashboard -- she references as the song where the guy had a microphone on his hand, and Vampire Weekend she talks about the band where they play each other's drums and sing under water.
So, music is a big part of our house, and we don't generally listen to distinct kids music (except for Music Together stuff and They Might Be Giants). We listen on the radio (KALX), XM (XMU), the car stereo, the ipod, and the computers. And I listen freely -- I don't sensor what we play, because for the most part naughty stuff didn't register. For a long while Liv's favorite song was Falling Through Your Clothes buy the New Pornographers -- which repeats "god damn" over and over. She loved Lily Allen's Alfie, which is about a teenage boy who smokes weed and masturbates in his room, and Vampire's Weekend has a chirped 'Whothefuckcaresaboutanoxfordcomma" which starts the lyrics to the semi-eponymous Oxford Comma. Oh, and who can forget Magnetic Field's Too Drunk to Dream's repeated use of "Shit-faced"?
At some point, and I hope this is a while off, she's going to ask me what all of this means. And then perhaps we'll need to talk about strong words and their place in Art and Music and not in casual five-year-old conversation.
Posted by tdotjay at 3:38 PM | Comments (0)
